This title is probably summarising my day quite well. My main subject of the day will be prayers, My fiance's granny is very ill and in hospital. I found myself praying today because I feel useless and I wish I could do more but I realise there is nothing more for me to do. Praying is a major thing for me, I am not very religious, I don't know what I believe in, the only thing I know is that I believe there is something up there. The first time I prayed was on the operation table just before going to sleep. I was praying the big guy upstairs to let me wake up after the operation. I was so scared of the anesthesia.
Today I prayed because someone I care about does not have a lot of time left on this land. Because she is very dear to the person I care the most about in the world and I hate seeing him sad. I want to make it all better but I can't, there is nothing I can do about it and I hate that. So I prayed, I prayed that things will go for the best whatever the best is in this situation. I just don't want her to suffer so I will let the bug guy decide what the best is. He will know I am sure... People say he is so powerful he would know what is best wouldn't he?
I was working the late shift today, it allowed me to do my exercise before going to work. I don't like the late shift and I knew James was going to the hospital to visit his granny, I wished I could have been there to support him but couldnt. When I came out of work I got absolutely soaked on the way to the train station, it was the closest place for me to run to to get a taxi home. And when I was in the taxi it started snowing... the snow has stopped now but the rain is still there.
I had my weigh in as well this morning. I lost 100g that's all. my dietician says it is normal and to focus on not putting on weight but I find this so frustrating. My first filled has been moved one day forward it is now on monday 12th april. And instead of giving me one then and the second one the week after they will just give me a bigger one at first ,and then the second one a month after. I am now allowed to eat every kind of food. But need to stick to my diet the dietician gave me.
I am sorry this is not a very positive post but I needed to write all this down to let it out. Have a nice week everybody.